You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2008.

Time has gone by. What should I break the silence with? A description of a Danish Sausage from an authentic pølsevogn? My glorious conversion to Glastonbury since it revealed itself to me as something you might want to go to? A eulogy on the advantageous qualities of the guitar and accordion being instruments whose vibrations you can feel against your belly? An exploration of my recent experience of witnessing an adored family member depart this world? Or a reaction to the tone chosen by bureaucrat at the registry office in which to address my 88-year-old granddad on registering the death of his wife of 60 years – who would think that calling him ‘sweetheart’ every sentence and making twee little jokes was appropriate? I guess the same person who then didn’t get the jokes which came back at her from the person she was trying to patronise. ‘Pop your signature on there, sweetheart’. Why is everyone always popping? Pop your pin number in, pop your coat on, pop out, pop in, pop yourself down there for a while. When did this vile word begin to be such a staple of certain people’s vocabulary? Why do I care? why my loathing of a west-countryism which has crept into my speech – pronouncing the word, ’email’ as eemell? Why do I hate the use of smileys and exclamation marks?!!!!!!!! Should I rant? No, I’ll just tell you what happened in the music shop where I sometimes work the other day.


This lady came in and said her son needed a piano tutor book, she didn’t have the title or author, but on the cover was a picture of an owl and a rat. Now, the piano teaching section is bigger than you might think, it covers a sizeable wall. The assistants went about looking at the cover of each book, but without success. The customer then suggested she ring her son and try to glean more information. After a phone call, she came back to the assistants saying she had more details on the book. The rat, she said, has a stick, and the owl is wearing glasses.